Cold Turkey

So this week has been a little hard towards me since I'm trying to quit my medication. I'm trying not to think much about the side-effects, but the truth is I always end the day with a massive headache that makes my stomach turn. But you know what? At the same time, although I end the days in pain, I know this is all for a good cause and I know that next week all symptoms will have gone! So that's what's keeping me going. I'll still keep on taking the morning pill for some time, I'm just dropping the afternoon one.

I think that right now I have what it takes to fight for my own, without chemicals. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but right now, as I type, I think I can make it. Back in the old days there weren't any anti-depressants to help you get through. You just managed. That's what I'm gonna do now: I'm gonna start managing slowly, with my weird family and loving boyfriend and (few but good) friends and someday I'm gonna be someone STRONGER. I truly believe this. I've been weak all my life, never doing what others told me to do but always feeling like the shit they wanted me to feel like. I kept on sabotaging myself because I always thought I wasn't worth it. But now I've proved to myself that I can do it, or at least do everything within my reach to do it. I've finished to subjects, I'm on my way to finishing three more, and if that fails, I can say, for the first time, that I actually TRIED.

I know I can be happy without pills. So all of you root for me! And thank you so much for your appreciation of my sappy works... I'm also gonna keep improving. And it's thanks to you guys that I keep pushing myself forward, practicing those damned hands and feet and trying to be better. So thank you.